Boggle Mama

Hemsley, Me and Movin' On Up

Well, I guess George is finally movin' on up to the deluxe apartment in the sky.

I wonder if it was an open casket. Probably not, since he died four months ago. That might have been a bit too macabre for his guests.

It got me thinking about my own funeral.

My good friend Marty was given a big blast for a milestone birthday. ( I won't say which one because I want to keep her as a friend.)

Two of Marty and Jim (her hubby's) friends are a funeral parlor director and his wife.  I'll just call them Sandy and Jack.

In the town that I live in, there are three funeral homes from which to choose for the last hurrah.

Sandy and Jack have the nicest one. It's my opinion, having been in their establishment only one time. Something about the ambience that would put a client at ease. Of course, death might do that too.

Plus, Sandy has been very nice to me on the few occasions that we happen to share the same air. I knew I would be in good hands with her and her husband.

I have specific ideas about my funeral and having had a couple white wines, I shared them with my new best friend, Sandy, and whomever was fortunate enough to be sitting near us at the dining room table.

I figured this was as good a time as any to let her know what my final requests were.

If I left it up to my kids, they would, no doubt, take a vote and bury me the way they felt was best.  Quick and clean.  And, since I usually like to be in control of things, I decided to grab the reins. I was there and Sandy was there, so, I figured it was meant to be. My Irish grandmom, Memommy, would call it God's way.

 It was an opportune moment that might never come again. I took another sip or two and began my monologue.

I didn't want to come across morbid, so I added a bit of humor to the conversation. I was unaware that the room was silent except for some wine-laden party goer expounding about coffins, and such.  Oh, that's right, that was me. !!

I was telling her that if, when I arrived at her establishment, I looked at all adorable, to leave the casket open. No use depriving my friends and family of one last look at my awesomeness. And, on the offchance that the cuteness just wasn't there, to indeed, close the lid. I think I said something about making me look ten pounds thinner, but around that time I became aware of my audience.  Someone was saying how I should have been a stand-up comic. Some strange man wanted to book me for his next dinner party. (OK, I'm making up that last part)

All I ask is that my family doesn't contest my will and leave me decomposing for four months, like poor Sherman Hemsley's heirs did. 

If that should happen, Sandy, a closed casket might be best.

 

 

 

 

One Hell of a Mesh, and Color Commentary, to Boot

I'd like to be the first to welcome me back.

I've missed me.

How about you?

Did you miss me?

Are you curious as to where I've been?

Me, too.

I will attempt to condense a long story into a more compact one. (I have been told that, for me, that is an impossibility).

I like my tales to have some color. A little burnt orange or cornflower blue thrown into the narrative never hurts. Life would be so gray-beige otherwise.

So, here goes. Set the timer, please.

The chemo I had for my Colon Cancer surgery in aught nine, caused my muscles and tissues that hold up my  lovely carnation pink organs to thin out, causing the aforementioned organs to fall forward. Thus, I was left with, what looked to many, as a sixth child, due any minute. Some of you know because of this post, that could never happen.

I was in the hospital for four days  A mesh was inserted to hold back my innards.

My lovely female surgeon said I needed at least two months of recuperation.

Two months are now up and I am feeling much better.

See, I did keep it short. My kids will be so proud.

Thanks for all of your well-wishes.

You will be hearing from me soon.

Eileen, alias, Bogglemama

 

 

 

 

Christmas, Catching Up and Jim Caviezel

Happy Day After Christmas, everyone.

The weekend was filled with food, family, fun and did I say food?

Saturday, I celebrated with my daughter Megan's in-laws. Every year they invite me to the traditional Italian Christmas Eve Feast of the Seven Fishes.  I've never gone until this year. What a spread!  It was magnifioso!
Thanks, Jim and Marty, for the invite.

And, of course, yesterday the Burke clan all gathered at Megan's house for another wonderful meal. Gifts were exchanged and the kids played quietly in the toy room. Oh, pardon me, I was thinking of some other family. Fourteen of my grandkids played in and out of the house, on every floor, the garage, the back porch, the front porch, and in their playground. My oldest grandchild is Angel, who brought her boyfriend, Nick. She is seventeen and definitely was not running around the house. She was so overjoyed to show all of us her new car. God bless her!

I'm trying to catch up with all the shows that I DVR'd over the last few weeks. I've been too busy and tired to stay up and view them or for that matter, watch them during the daylight hours, since I've been shopping non-stop.

My new favorite show is Person of Interest. Have any of you seen this show?

It's great!

I love Jim Caviezel! I have, ever since I saw him in Frequency and then Angel Eyes with Jennifer Lopez. OMG, what a hunka hunka burning love. I would seriously have his babies, that is, if I still had my uterus.(please read).

Tomorrow, or the next day, I plan on visiting my Mom and sister, the two Maryellens up in Philly. And, yes, I will be giving Mom a big red/maroon Rubbermaid container filled with a jug of Tawny Port wine, a couple bags of chocolates, two types of biscotti (she's a dunker), a pair of white fleece gloves and some Muirhead Blueberry Butter. Here is a picture of everything, before I make it a bit more appealing. Click picture to enlarge.

 

 

 

Enjoy the rest of your holiday. And I'll be seeing you in 2012, if not before.

Eileen ooxxoo

 

What to Give a Ninety-Two Year Old Mother at Christmas

 

Christmas shopping for my Mother has become a problem in the last few years. Now that she is ninety-two and a half years old, the woman does not need much of anything. At this point, she has an abundance of night gowns, robes, slippers, gloves, scarves, etc, etc, ad nauseum.  And, she has plenty of picture frames, glassware, silverware, even underwear.

What to do? What to do?

She loves dark chocolate. She loves tawny port wine. For her birthday, back in July, that's what I gave her. For Christmas, I'll probably repeat the same thing.

One thing is for certain, at her age, I won't have to feel guilty about creating a diabetic, or for that matter, a raging alcoholic.

Speaking of tawny port, has anyone ever tasted it? And, how did you like it? I sipped it once, just to see if I would enjoy it. (I've been known to enjoy a glass of wine or five)

Yuck! It was so vile! I thought I had permanetly damaged my taste buds. The only way I could get rid of the aftertaste, was to swig a tumbler of pinot grigio.

Luckily, I had some in the house.

 

 

Famous Friday: The Middle, and Marsha Mason

 

I was watching The Middle today. I DVR'd it so that I could view it at my leisure.

The show annoys me at the same time that it makes me laugh. I have a feeling that it's because I see a little bit of myself in the mother and a lot of my family in the rest of the bunch. For instance, I've been known to have said to any one of my kids, who at one time or another, might have come to me with an earache, stomach flu, headache, knife slashing, etc, "Easter or Christmas, (or whatever holiday was approaching) is coming, can you please wait for after the holidays and then we will deal with the doctor"s office/ER ?

Anyway, as I was watching the show today, I saw that my best friend, Marsha Mason was on. We go way back.

In the 1980's, when my baby daddy's political career was booming (as Senator Bill Bradley's campaign finance director), I was invited to a Woman's Luncheon in North Jersey.

That's when I met and peed with Marsha Mason. She had been in some of my favorite movies like Goodbye Girl, Only When I Laugh,and Chapter Two. She had been married to the famous Neil Simon. I always thought that she was adorably cute, halfway between the girl next door and the ballsy pal/friend who instigated the next semi-illegal act.

And so, during the luncheon we became chatty. She talked about her younger years and she listened to my stories about the kids that had ruined my modeling career. (Wishful thinking)

Before too long, we were fast friends. And being that we were so insync, our bladders called out to us at the very same moment. So, we strolled to the lavatories, never at a loss for words. We became so cosmically aligned, that we began finishing each other's sentences. (I know it sounds like I'm embellishing a wee bit, but what if I am, please let me have this memory)

Anyhow, when  we got to the bathrooms, there was an extremely long line for the ladies room. We were waiting, like everyone else for what seemed like an eternity. Then Marsha came up with a plan. She said to just smile and walk and follow her lead. So I did.

Never before and never since has Eileen Burke set foot into a men's room. It was awesome!

I'm sure when Marsha looks back on her life, she often reflects on the fun times had in the men's room with that cute blonde from that political function in North Jersey. And she wonders where I am.

 

 

Brownies, Brownies, Good for the Heart

Weight Watchers is going well. I'm maintaining the 31 lbs loss, but intend to lose more in good time.

Summer has been filled with food, fun and food. Oh, and did I mention, food?

My house, ala pool, is a gathering place for family and friends on many weekends. Over the Fourth of July weekend, I entertained every day except for the actual Fourth of July. Go figure !

Every so often, I make a batch of Weight Watcher's brownies. If I am the only one eating them, they last a long time. But, I offered them to my "company" last weekend, and they were gobbled up quickly by all.

On Sunday, my Mom, my sister, Maryellen, and her boyfriend, Bob came for a visit.  They brought the hoagies and I had the dessert, namely the aforementioned brownies.

Well, soon after dessert, I noticed that there was a lot of gas passing going on.  Bob let go of a couple good ones and Maryellen let loose a few times in the pool, sending little bubbles to the surface. My Mom, who is a delicate flower farted a few times, as well.

I realized, that I had neglected to tell them what was actually in the brownies.

Here is the recipe for the brownies. You can decide what was the probable culprit.

Black Bean Brownies (dead giveaway)

4 pointsplus
servings: 16
Nutritional Info: 155 cal., 3.6 gr of fat, 29 gr of carb., 1.2 gr of fiber, 1.2 gr of protein

Ingredients:

1 can black beans
1 box of brownie mix ( I use Betty Crocker low-fat)
2 tsp instant coffee or espresso ( the granules, not a cup of coffee that you take 2 tsp of liquid from--- not that I did that or anything)

Instructions:

1. Rinse the black beans off well in a colander and return to the rinsed can. Fill the can with water to the top.  Pour mixture into a blender and blend until smooth.

2. In a large mixing bowl, mix the brownie mix, instant coffee, and black bean puree until well mixed.

3. Follow the cooking instructions on the brownie box.  Let cool and cut into 16 servings.

 

These have to be the moistest brownies that I've ever eaten.

And, as we all know, beans are good for the heart. I like to think that in my little corner of the world I've prolonged a life or two.

Here's a picture of my Mom who will be turning 92 on July 27th. Doesn't she have a healthy glow about her?  Must be the brownies.

 

 

 

 

Rest in Peace, Gerry

Geraldine Ferraro died yesterday.

Some of you will recall that she was one of my Famous Friday celebrities.

Pete and I met her at a Bill Bradley fundraiser in Atlantic City. At that time, she had been nominated for Vice President on the Democratic ticket. She seemed genuinely nice. She had a twinkle in her eye that  could either mean that she had a good sense of humor or that she could kick your ass before you could bend over, all the while smiling like a cherub.

Here's the picture, in case you missed it before.

God bless you, Gerry.

 

 

 

 

Blogging and Baking and Eating Pumpkin Pie

My daughter Colleen suggested this blog thingy to help me get through chemo.

It worked !

Chemo has been over since Halloween, 2009.

I didn't want to dampen my reader's spirits by discussing the ins and outs of colon cancer and its lovely follow up treatment. Instead, I focused on my past experiences, the famous people I met, my shoe size, my hemorrhoids, my gynie crush. You get the picture. And the diversion worked. And, in the meantime  I've made some new friends along the way. I call them my peeps.

Lately, I haven't written as profusely as I had been doing. Probably there are a myriad of reasons for the slowdown. But, mostly it's because I've gotten my strength back. So, I've been directing my energy elsewhere. And, that's a good thing, I suppose, but lately I've been feeling a little guilty about not posting.

So, when the blogging spirit strikes me, I will continue to share my stories.

Presently, I'm on a quest to shed another 18 pounds. (There is a medical reason for losing the poundage, but I will save it for another post). So far, I've lost 27 pounds on the new Weight Watcher PointsPlus  program. Talk about getting back my energy. Yowza !!

Do you know that I bake and consume one pumpkin pie every 4 or 5 days?  You have to understand that I love pumpkin pie. I just love it.  And, on the new plan, fruits and most vegetables are free. Free meaning no PointsPlus value.  Canned pumpkin is one of those veggies that are free.

Free, I tell you, free !!!

Sorry, I can get carried away when I talk about pumpkin.

Are any of my readers on the WW Program ? Please let me know how you like it. And have you made
the Crustless Pumpkin Pie yet?  Here's the recipe. Click the recipe to make the print bigger.

 Yummy, yum, yum !!!!

The Anniversary of the Storm of 2009

Exactly two years ago today, February 16, 2009, I was admitted to Cooper Hospital in New Jersey for what was to be a 5 week ordeal.  I had developed a real nasty abscess on what I affectionately call my nether regions.

One of the first tests that they gave me was a cat scan. Lo and behold, the doctor later came into the cubicle and asked "Did you know that you have a mass on your colon?"  In my Dilaudid induced delirium, I questioned the specialist's credentials. I told him that I couldn't have colon cancer. I had just had a colonoscopy a year and a half prior. I told him that he must have mistaken the malevalent mass for "poop". Yes, me, the nurse, said "poop".
I could see in his eyes that he wasn't about to argue with this drugged out whackjob. He would save it for another time.

The story goes that the vulva infection had developed because my colon cancer had made my body unable to fight off even the simplest of bacterium. Ergo, I had the largest abscess in the history of all mankind. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

They had to clear up the infection before the surgery could take place. That took a very long couple of weeks. I was flat on my back for so long that I had to go to a rehabilitation facility called Moorestown Estates for a few days to get my legs working again. 

My surgery was successful and I began chemotherapy the following May. That lasted six months, finishing right around Halloween, of 2009.

It's true that you never think something that awful could happen to you, until it does. I should have known that I was a candidate for colon cancer, after all, my Dad had died from it probably.(I say probably, because he had later developed lung cancer from which, I think, he succumbed.)
And don't forget my previous hemorrhoidectomy saga.

I've learned that I am a stronger person for having weathered the storm of 2009.

I may have half a colon and half a right vulva but I'm a whole woman, nevertheless. And let's not forget, I suffered the largest abscess in the history of all mankind. Try to top that one.

 

Bye Bye Christmas

I'm looking forward to taking down all of the Christmas decorations. I've had enough of the red and green stuff to last for about eleven months. I'll begin with the lighted houses and end with the faux tree. It'll probably take three days or so. I love this time of year because Spring seems right around the corner.

I started collecting the houses a long time ago. It began with Dept.56 and later I found that Lemax and Holiday Village make a great version and at a much cheaper cost. So now I own almost thirty houses, stores, churches etc etc. One of my most prized possessions is the Dept. 56 Macy' Store which comes with music and a revolving Thanksgiving Day Parade.

I took a few pictures of the houses for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy !

Walton's Five and Dime. That's Santa resting on his hammock. (click to enlarge)

 Here is my skiing and ice skating lodge. This is as close to "cold" sports that I get.

You know I had to have a hospital.

 

 

 This is my favorite, Macy's Day Parade. Make sure you click it to enlargen so you can see Santa.

Here is the Soda Fountain/Pharmacy.   And that's the Beauty Salon in the back.

It's hard to see them very well, but here they are lined up on my buffet. Don't forget the "click to enlarge" thingy.

Thanks for letting me share my houses with you. I'd love to know if any of my readers also collect the lighted houses. And, if not, what do you collect? My sister Maryellen collects snowmen in all forms and all genders.

Aside: Since snowmen don't have genitalia, I can only assume that their hat is what differentiates the male from the female. I sure am happy that we humans are not created that way. What fun would that be?

Happy New Year !!!! Eileen